Yeah
I struggle with every breath. Air becomes alien to me. I look around. There is much to learn from the walls that enclose my mind. Each one with a window. I look out. Visions manifest themselves and I question my every intention. Now I realize. Are these thoughts that provoke me a reality. Or am I just an exaggeration of myself.
Ponder on every dream. Ponder on every action. Ponder on every emotion. There is no greater confusion than that of self. My head is like a ticking time bomb. Ready to explode at any moment.
Inhale. Exhale. The clock slowly ticks by. Time moves at its own leisure. My judgement is swayed by my own irrationality. Who is to blame for this worry? Who is to be held accountable? The answers I seek, lie in the questions that I ask.
Now vexed by my own lack of understanding. My mind’s eye shatters every ounce of logic. Paranoia begins to encapsulate me. The sentences before me make no sense. Each word read holds a certain lack of importance. To me, these are merely characters carefully placed together.
Content with this Fury
Now I know this hate will not pass. History has spoken a thousand words. My humanity seeps through stronger than ever now. My fist burn with unspeakable rage. Used and slaughtered by the scum. They don’t deserve divine intervention. Forgotten but never forgiven. I hold this true. They will receive their due.
Humbled by this feeling. Submissive to my nature. But yet I am content. I am diligent.
Relevance?
I think not of self. Self is non-relevant. The “I’s” and “me’s” are powerful tools of destruction. 11 billion stories all told at once. Each one beginning and ending. Each one unique and beautiful at the same time. Stories collide, meeting one another at different vantage points. Learning from one another, building and building. Hello how was your day? What did you do? Really! WOW that’s amazing. Can we offer guidance? NO! well that’s alright. My understanding of self is strange, complicated, complex, whatever you may call it. Forget yourself. Forget who you are, who you were, who you will be. The Masterplan is far greater that you think it is.
The Importance of simply being
I am cold hearted, vain and I will hurt you, but only shallow waters rise when nothing around seems to exist. I dwell in the rivers of pure love. Around me there is nothing but pure pleasures waiting for me. I am the dream of eternal lust and sin, I see but will never be seen. I love and will never hate. I am at utmost nirvana. Spiritual calm. And now the sound will overwhelm the earth. It’s shattering noise. Do we choose to accept it. The nothingness of everything. Or will this abyss slowly become a darkness in which we rest our heavy heads. Please do listen. There can be nothing but silence. Quiet waves which blur the wounds of yesterday. The future will guide your every inch. This heavy stone is nothing but a useless memory. Importance in simply being. The story has already unfold itself. Oh and what a story it has turned out to be.
She will not stop me
in every light, i will always find myself lost, there is no pain like this, the one you feel when you’re so far way. This deep depression im in, will only prolong if i don’t let go. I must rise above my circumstance, I must change. She will hunt me down, She will stalk me for eternity, but she will not stop me.
